Side 1, Track 1: Time Out

[Grognardsw]

The band stood slack-jawed before the blue-skinned attendant.

"Well?" he said.

Jimmy, TPK's band manager, looked at front-man Mel, then Janx, then Hooter, and Alice.

Sleek red robots glided about the room, setting up for the party. Each bore stamped identification on their chests - Hugh 1, Hugh 2, Hugh 3, etc.

[OGRE MAGE]

Mel finally snaps out of his funk.

"Oh hi there! We are TPK! The entertainment for the party."

He looks around for the stage.

"So, where do we plug in our gear, man?"

[Rex]

Alice

"I am not sure they use plugs here Mel." She looks around wide eyed.

[Bluehorse]

Alice

"I am not sure they use plugs here Mel." She looks around wide eyed.

Hooter elbows Alice and points at an alien with a funny walk. not ao sure about that Alice. He looked plenty plugged to me...

[Rex]

Alice

Alice tries not to laugh, but does anyways in the end.

[jemmus]

Janx is feeling it and up for some jamming in the pleasure planet palace. Or down for some jamming, which he supposes is about the same, but a little different. He wonders how the dildo-like instrument works and what it sounds like. But he sure the hey isn't going to be the one to experiment with it with the bandmates watching.

Guys, this is going to be great! This isn't The Rat, it's is a freaking palace! Home of the queen of the pleasure planet! This is the gig of lifetime! Well, our lifetimes, so far.
So what do we do? All TPK original? Some covers? Just freeform jam some prog polka? He fires up his wrist comms device and dictates TPK's originals and his notes on them into it. His memory is surprisingly good, considering that it's drifting in a cumulus cloud of pleasure planet THC.

THAC0 - recorded
Battle for Arbel - recorded, prog-rockish (critical success roll for lyrics)
Girls Love the Angel - partly done
Giant Fruit Slugs Riding Farmen - done, with shifting time signatures
Kokhav-Nogah (or something like that, the planet where we jammed) Jam - done
Deja Dust - still just an idea. That Deja Dust was some bad bummer mocus, man.
One-Horned Gorilla Thing/Destroyed by Sound - still just an idea, but I think we can improv jam it. Mysterious intro/theme (Weird Plants and Approaching the Cave), segue into a hard-driving riff (The Gorilla Thing), and then into a crunchy metal riff (The Battle), with Hooter and Derek throwing in a bunch of wild soloing, and extro with the intro theme again (Victory Smoke), but less mysterious and more upbeat and jamming. It would be nice if we had a conductor to help with all of that. You know, like wave a little wand around to set the tempo, tell the different instruments when to be cool or let it rip. Well, I guess the drummer and the bass player rhythm section kind of do that. And in the studio, the producer does that. But for jamming a magnus or magnum opus on the fly-- which we totally can do tonight-- you'd need a conductor. Why don't rock bands have conductors? Maybe TPK could get one? Maybe a hot chick, a smart older but not too old concert cello player or something?
Pinocchio Girl - Hooter tune, I remember some lyrics but can't exactly remember the melody. "Pinocchio girl, the pleasure boobie planet, so I kiss a girl who wasn't there, is my fly down?"

Hooter... no, Derek... no, Mel... no, Alice.... No, Jimmy! Remember to get a recording of this gig! And this time, from the beginning. Not 1:32 minutes before it's over!

I might have gotten a little carried away there.

[Bluehorse]

I might have gotten a little carried away there.

I love it!

Hooter gets his Accordion ready and gives it a good squeeze. Oh yeah! We are going to have a big fun hula luou polka time party for the queenie! Will we get to shake hands? Oh!
I would love to get the kisses from the royal lips! Maybe if we play well we will be neck deep in the blue blood life, yeah? I can see the album now!
TPK and the Prog Polka Please Palace Performance of Perfection! Jimmy! Make sure to be recording my good side, yeah? Alice? Will you be flashing the boobies again? I think that is legal here, and i like them a lot, so you be doing that now, okay? Are my lederhosen nice and straight? I want my butt to look good for the queen!

[Grognardsw]

The blue-skinned event planner nodded as Mel and the others antically introduced themselves. “TPK?”, he questioned as he looked over a padlet. “I see an ELO, CCR, PIL and OMD, but no TPK. Too many frakkin acronyms.”

A Hugh-6 robot hovered to the man and said something in beeps. “Beep beep bee-bee-beep. Beep.”

The event planner rolled his eyes and muttered “not now,” then walked away with Hugh-6. TPK were left to their own devices.

The band agreed with Janx’s proposed set list, which captured their strange otherworldly adventures quite nicely.

“I’ll figure out a way to record it!” confirmed Jimmy as he and the band walked around looking for a stage. They passed through a giant chamber of bobbing 10’ bubbles, in which people could step into and then float around the room by pushing from the inside. Another spherical hall was zero-gravity, which added a unique condition to any activities done within. They passed through room after room being set up for the evening, each seemingly with its own purpose or entertainment milieu. There was a 100-yard aquatic tank, a triple balconied sauna complex, chambers entirely composed of cushions and beds, an exotic dungeon of erotic delights, food, drink, and drug halls, virtual chambers, holo-bedrooms with menu-options in the hundreds, and many rooms that TPK just didn’t understand given their human Earth context.

The most intriguing element was that most rooms were accessed from above by a network of platform corridors. In this way one could observe what was going on, not just in the room below you but also spread out around you. A stretching horizon of bachanalia, decadence, and pleasures which gave the planet its name.

TPK found the concert hall by accident, turning right out of a room full of sex dolls down a hallway into a gigantic hall the size of the Patriots Foxboro stadium.

Each end had a stage, and technicians were busy setting up speakers and lights and other unidentifiable equipment.

TPK wandered over to the nearest stage on the left. From their club performance a few nights ago, they knew the basics of how to set up in this alien, high tech venue.

Derek the Whizzard, the keyboard and electronics whiz who today was in a purplish tye-dye shirt, adjusted his futuro-keyboard. “Just tune the transmit knob until it picks up their sound-net. No plug ins required!”

Everyone managed to fiddle their knobs successfully (Alice had to help Hooter fiddle his knob.) They ran through sound check, marveling again at the powerful and unique sounds of their futuro-instruments-cum-weapons. They were able to add layers of texture over the usual sound, be it guitar, bass, drum or accordion.

While TPK tested and played, Jimmy got busy talking with techs about how to record the concert.

“I got it all set up!” said Jimmy later. “You know, the stage floats! You’ll be floating around the hall, giving everyone great views!”

[jemmus]

Seeing all of that bacchanalia had Janx pretty... excited. But he has a rule: no bopping before a gig. It can make a guitar player's knees weak, the same way as it can for a boxer before a fight. Fortunately, it has never really come up before. Well, actually, unfortunately it hasn't really come up before. Anyway, after the gig-- that was a different matter. A celebratory post-gig roll in the hay is almost a Law of Nature.

On stage, Janx is really feeling it. Playing the Pleasure Planet Palace is TPK's biggest gig yet. He tries to improv through the prog rock suite "One-Horned Gorilla Thing/Destroyed by Sound" that the band hasn't really worked on yet. Regrettably, the Force isn't really with him. Not only are the riffs not coming to him, but he's flubbing his basic string-bending. The mysterious intro/theme ("Weird Plants and Approaching the Cave") comes out sounding a little hammy. And cheesy. The silky smooth segue into a hard-driving riff for "The Gorilla Thing" doesn't work. And then improving a crunchy metal riff for "The Battle" ends up sounding like garage band bad Sabbath. Then the extro, "Victory Smoke" with the intro theme again, is a dud. Because it was just a repeat of the cheesy intro. Janx glances over at the band, shakes his head to say, Sorry, I apologize, I know that was unbelievably lame. Go, TPK, pick it up!" Maybe mighty frontman Mel, crazy optimist Hooter, rock-steady rhythmist backbone of the band Alice, a wiz-kid The Whizzer can turn the energy and flip and salvage the gig.

During "Kokhav-Nogah Jam," he quickly tries an experimental little solo run. And just as quickly gives up on it and goes back to focusing on basic rhythm guitar fretting and strumming work. "Maybe these alien dudes will think it's like, you know, how it's done on Earth 1976? Or maybe it will even sound good to their alien ears and booties? TPK cats, we're counting you now!"

Songwriting (riffs) 50 [1d100]=74
Rhythm Guitar 77 [1d100]=92
Improv Soloing 35 [1d100]=77

[OGRE MAGE]

"Woah!" Mel couldnt believe the blue man at first.

"Wait! Do you guys really think CCR is playing here too? AWESOME!"

Digging the constant excitement he is surrounded by here makes Mel snap out of the usual playing funk he has experienced so far, and his performance seems a bit better rehearsed, despite his cringing and looks of confusion sent Janx's way periodically.

Preform (65) [1d100]=48

"WE ARE DOING A LIVE RECORDING HERE TONIGHT!!! SO LETS HEAR YOU ALL FUCKIN SCREAM FOR ME, PLEASURE PLANET!!!!!"

[Grognardsw]

Elsewhen from the sound and fury…

The Solarians sat in counsel.

“There is a disturbance in the Temporal War efforts.”

Eyebrows raised.

“Gedalexnel has brought TPK to the chrono-fore.”

“TPK?!” Gasps of surprise and murmurs of consternation rippled through the Council.

“Granted, they are their younger selves…”

“What is being done?”

“The Parliament of Funk were dispatched-“

“Ahh…” with relief.

“But failed.”

“Oh…” with disappointment.

“Fear not, our plans for galactic dominion will not be denied! I have procured their doom! He is already on their chrono-tail, the… menudolorian!

“HA ha HA ha!” The Counsel broke out in evil laughter.

[Rex]

Alice

Perform (70) [1d100]=62

Drums [1d100]=90

Once again Alice is better to look at then listen too.

[Grognardsw]

Mel was pumped to learn that Creedence Clearwater Revival was indeed playing the next day. Was it the same guys?



The concert was a surreal experience. Bubbles floated in, each containing an alien, bouncing about the crowd. After TPK's first song the whole stage rose up into the air, some 20' above the crowd in the huge hall. The stage slowly meandered like a cloud, affording everyone front seat views over the course of the concert. The crowd was made up of humanoids and aliens from across the galaxy. Lights strobed, floated, the roof opened up to an alien constellation of stars.

TPK was inspired by the setting and each band member rocked, though Janx hit a few rough spots. Alice resisted Hooter's request and did not flash her tits.

About halfway through the concert, TPK realized that everyone in the crowd were wearing ear plugs. Later, after the concert, TPK learned that these weren't plugs but ear buds that allowed the audience to switch between the TPK concert and the other concert going on at the other end of the gargantuan hall. One could hear either concert with complete clarity while the other disappeared.

At the other end of the hall, some 600' away, another musician was playing. But oddly TPK couldn't hear any noise coming from it. An immense alien creature, moth-like with tiger-patterned fur. It's instrument caught Hooter's attention:

[Bluehorse]

Hooter looks over and his eyes get a funny look in them as he grins seeing the MothMan with the Accordion. He steps forward into a Power Stance like any true Rocker and squeezes out a loud attention getting cord, bringing the show to a halt mid-song.

Singing:

Music v75 [1d100]=95

"Hey MothMan!
Squeezing that Accordi-Ann!
I challenge yoooooooooooooooooooou,
To a Rock Off!!!
I'm gonna rock your Socks Off!!!"

Power Cord!:

Play Accordion v81 [1d100]=75

[Grognardsw]

The moth creature, as Hooter called it, undulated its body, fluttered its wings and made clicking noises. Hooter assumed his challenge was accepted.

The moth bug alien cranked its instrument in wild abandon, sending waves of strange sound vibrating through the arena.

Hooter responded in kind. The crowd cheered in vote…

Roll percentile three times. Lower wins. Two out of three to be the King Accordionist of the Universe!

Accordian rock-off! [1d100]=38, [1d100]=69, [1d100]=72

[Bluehorse]

Accordian rock-off! [1d100]=38, [1d100]=69, [1d100]=72

ROCK OFF!!! [1d100]=30 [1d100]=84 [1d100]=38

Hooter grinned and played his heart out, going back and forth with the alien as they tried to outdo each other. In the end, it felt close, but probably because he got lost in the actual playing with Mothra rather than against although he was still clearly his usual showboating self. He was all grins, ear to ear and everyone could tell he was truly enjoying himself. Oh! This sits like a mustache, Moth-Man! he calls out before hitting another section of power-polka-prog-rock cords!

[jemmus]

Janx calls out, Go man, Hooter! He has a feeling that "Hooter and the Mothman" or "Hooter vs the Mothman" is going to be a TPK song.

Kind of like By-Tor and the Snow Dog.

[OGRE MAGE]

Mel was taking it all in as usual, a little weirded out by the idea that the ear buds, whatever those are, were preventing some of the people from hearing them.

He went along with it all the same, very much enjoying the break while Hoots and the Moth-tals preformed their war of the bellows.

He looked over to the others as they enjoyed the show as well. "Man if those topless chicks from back in Boston could only see us now."

The frontman decided to keep alert, looking around at the out of the way side stage areas, just in case anyone from the Funkadelic Mothership found out they were playing here.

"Ya! Go Hooter! Squeeze that box, man!!!"

[Rex]

Alice

Alice cheers Hooter on, "Your nailing it Brother!"

[Grognardsw]

Hooter's accordian solo rock-off with the Mothman ended with a triumphant crowd cheer vote for the Dutchman. The moth alien nodded his head in friendly acknowledgement of the Earthman's skill.

TPK roared through Victory Smoke then a thumping Pinnochio Girl to climax the set. Alice, feeling ten feet tall, banged the skins with sexy fury and ended with a flash of her own twin skins. Many in the crowd responded by flashing their own chests, revealing a medley of many colored skin, flab, tentacles, mammaries, eyes, mouths, and other appendages depending on the alien specie.

As they exited the stage Jimmy ran up.

"I got it all recorded on their 'holo-projectors!'" said their manager. "Great show!" Jimmy seemed surprisingly sober for post-show.

Backstage they decompressed and sampled a table of unknown liquors and foods.

"Hey, anybody seen the queen?" asked Derek. "We still got the dildo instrument to deliver."

"Hooter and the Mothman" does have the same syllable count of "By-Tor and the Snow Dog." Given Rex said NPC Alice, I couldn't resist.