Chapter 2: The Sinews of War

[ChubbyPixie]

Wikerus, shocked to find himself in a real battle with real people hitting each other and real blood spilling out of their real heads, is momentarily unable to react. "Oh! Oh! Oh!!" he cries, then tries to work his way behind the soldier grappling Horton.

Misc. DEX rolls: [2d6] = 10, [3d6] = 12, [4d6] = 15 Note: Wikerus' current DEX Is 13 due to his stupid, chafing, painted clothing.

If he succeeds and still can, he'll swing his virgin axe at the back of the thing, aiming for the body.

Axe!: [1d6] = 2

[coil23]

Horton, humiliated and fed up with this fiasco, decides to just add confusion to the mix out of spite. Save yourselves, men. These traitors would get everyone killed, not realizing they will be killed by their benefactors once all the other soldiers are dead. Ours was the last chance to save the camp. Do anything to get out, leave me. He speaks in a breathless, urgent, half-whisper- not wanting to draw any more attention from others in the camp.

[Pulpatoon]

Coil23. could you roll WIL on a d20?

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt & Hans will continue to use a real sword on the nearest toy soldier.

Kurt Sword [1d6] = 1
Hans Sword [1d6] = 6

[Stirling]

'Shaggy' Beaker just shoots a soldier with his pistol and Mouse stabs at one with his rapier.

[mjulius]

Brick whistles casually, watching the perimeter, as Langston lays into whichever soldier still needs a layin' into.

Axe [1d8] = 5

[Pulpatoon]

'Shaggy' Beaker just shoots a soldier with his pistol and Mouse stabs at one with his rapier.

Stirling, please roll the appropriate damage dice. If you have a preference for which guard to attack, let me know. One is damaged and fighting Jake, the other is using Horton as a shield.

[Pulpatoon]

Hans charges swining his real sword at the nearest toy soldier. Hans Sword [1d6] = 6
Kurt taking up Will's old real sword charges into battle beside Hans. Kurt Sword [1d6] = 5

Jake attacks the same guy as before.
[1d8] = 7

1 Jake; 2 Kurt; 3 Hans: [1d3] = 1. Wooden Sword: [1d4] = 2

Kurt and Hans join Jake in taking on the already-damaged guard. Their combined blows pulverize the wooden head entirely, but not before the sword lays a solid smack across Jake's face. He now has a bright pink stripe across his face, a bleeding nose, and every expectation of at least one black eye by tomorrow. 2 points of damage.

Wikerus, shocked to find himself in a real battle with real people hitting each other and real blood spilling out of their real heads, is momentarily unable to react. "Oh! Oh! Oh!!" he cries, then tries to work his way behind the soldier grappling Horton.

Misc. DEX rolls: [2d6] = 10, [3d6] = 12, [4d6] = 15 Note: Wikerus' current DEX Is 13 due to his stupid, chafing, painted clothing.

If he succeeds and still can, he'll swing his virgin axe at the back of the thing, aiming for the body.

Axe!: [1d6] = 2

Wikerus sneaks around behind the remain guard, in order to gain a clear blow without endangering Horton. His axe takes a long chip out of the glossy paint.
When testing an attribute, roll a d20. Not necessary in this case, since the guard wasn't in a position to do much about you sneaking behind him, but I appreciate the proactive roll.

Horton, humiliated and fed up with this fiasco, decides to just add confusion to the mix out of spite. Save yourselves, men. These traitors would get everyone killed, not realizing they will be killed by their benefactors once all the other soldiers are dead. Ours was the last chance to save the camp. Do anything to get out, leave me. He speaks in a breathless, urgent, half-whisper- not wanting to draw any more attention from others in the camp.

Horton hears the guard's jittery voice in his ear, "You... what?! Save...? Oh, you are a confounding and vexatious lot!"

'Shaggy' Beaker just shoots a soldier with his pistol and Mouse stabs at one with his rapier.

Brick whistles casually, watching the perimeter, as Langston lays into whichever soldier still needs a layin' into.
Axe [1d8] = 5

The guard who has grappled Horton is unable to attack, instead putting all his desperate energy into using Horton as a shield against the blows raining upon him.
Given this, I think the most generous way of ruling this exchange is to give each attack a 50% chance of hitting Horton instead of the guard.
Guard or Horton? Shaggy [1d100] = 31 Mouse [1d100] = 98 Lang [1d100] = 52
Shaggy strikes the guard, Mouse and Langston hit Horton.
Shaggy Pistol: [1d6] = 2 Mouse Rapier [1d4] = 1

Langston's axe lands a solid blow into the guard, but both Shaggy and Mouse strike glancing blows on their friend. Horton: 3 points damage.

Horton:

While Mouse's rapier flexes off your wooden body with barely a scratch to the paint, Shaggy's lead ball is half-embedded in your chest in a most undignified way. It is a peculiar experience, taking damage in this new wooden body. It is deeply distressing to see your wooden flesh chip and splinter, but there is none of the nociception you remember your old body having in response to pain stimuli. There's is only the sinking dread of knowing that this body won't heal, and that even the best repairs still sink you deeper in an entropic debt.

Brick:

Watching the perimeter, you see, frozen in shock, mid-scamper, the wooden messenger boy. He is about 30 feet away, at the edge of the cam's tents. If he runs, you don't think you can catch him.

The guard, struck by axes from fore and aft, releases his grip on Horton's arms.

Round Three! Let's go!
Kurt and Hans' next attacks are banked and ready for round 3.

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt "Actually Soldier we were not here on ill intent until you just wouldn't stand aside now we mean to plow through anything that wishes to stand in our way."

Hans nods agreeing with his employer's son "If you would have just listened and stepped aside none of this would have come to pass." he informs the soldier using their compatriot as a human shield.

[mb.]

Schroff latches his teeth onto the remaining soldier's leg, trying to distract and destabilise him. Schroff – Bites [1d6] = 3 Grrrrrrrr!

Seeing the risk to his compatriot, Deet indecisively jabs with his bayonet, every time flinching away before it connects. "Ohdearohdearohdear..."

I read what I missed and didn't see any, but just to make sure: are there new rooms that need a'mappin'?

[mjulius]

Brick Uh... We're gonna have a company for company in short order. We should probably wrap this up soon.

He gestures with grins at the boy, walking slowly forward. Pitching his thumb to the carnage behind him, shaking his head, grinning madly, shrugging his shoulders, making that twirling thing with his hand around his head to indicate something crazy, smiling, walking closer to the boy, gesturing him over for some good times....just a little closer to them and away from the tents.

[ChubbyPixie]

"Really regret this, soldier! Can't be helped!" says Wikerus as he brings his axe to bear on the soldiers back once again.

Axe to the back attack: [1d6] = 5

[Pulpatoon]

Brick gestures with grins at the boy, walking slowly forward. Pitching his thumb to the carnage behind him, shaking his head, grinning madly, shrugging his shoulders, making that twirling thing with his hand around his head to indicate something crazy, smiling, walking closer to the boy, gesturing him over for some good times....just a little closer to them and away from the tents.

Let's have a WIL check (1d20) to see if you can work your sway upon the boy.

[mjulius]

Brick: WIL 8 [1d20] = 16

High rolls are super good, right?

[coil23]

Horton, now free, sweeps the soldier's feet out from under him. That should limit his options. Vexatious to the last, his harsh whisper shares: this is what traitors get!

[Pulpatoon]

The guard sees he is clearly outnumbered, and yells out, "MAYDAY! SOLDIER UNDER DURESS! HEY RUBE! HEEEEEEEEELP!"

With Horton kicking at one leg and Schroff chewing on another, the guard goes toppling over, where he is easy prey for the hard rain of axe blows and apologies that fall from the adventurers.

PC's total damage to guard this round: 15 hp. Very dead.
1. Kurt; 2. Hans; 3. Schroff; 4. Deet; 5. Wikerus; 6. Horton; 7. Shaggy; 8. Mouse; 9. Jake; 10. Langston
[1d10] = 6
[1d4] = 4

A last flailing swing of the soldier's wooden sword cracks solidly into poor Horton.
4 points damage (3 after wooden armor). This brings you to 0 hp, and 13 STR. Please roll vs. STR to avoid Out of Action.

As the remains of the guards settle into splinters, the party notices that Brick is engaged with the wooden messenger boy. The boy is about 30 feet away, near the perimeter of camp tents.

Brick Uh... We're gonna have a company for company in short order. We should probably wrap this up soon.

He gestures with grins at the boy, walking slowly forward. Pitching his thumb to the carnage behind him, shaking his head, grinning madly, shrugging his shoulders, making that twirling thing with his hand around his head to indicate something crazy, smiling, walking closer to the boy, gesturing him over for some good times....just a little closer to them and away from the tents.

The boy is clearly not mollified by Brick's bizarre parade of gestures and expressions, but is also to shocked—or fascinated?—by the carnage that has just occurred to have run off quite yet.

Actions!
Next action-post will occur around 9am ET (2p GMT) Saturday the 11th.

[kensanata]

Splinters, the messenger boy, looks at the approaching Brick and raises his hands. Ah, excellent soldiering, flesh man! Admirable cohesion! Ah. Are you the princess? You are not with the rats? Ah. My name is Splinters. I'm a messenger boy. I am definitely not guarding this door, Sir. He waves his hands at the door. As you were saying, we are going to outflank the rats through this doors by orders of... by orders of... Flanking probe, Sir! Messenger boy for the wooden army at your service. I am no longer needed at this post and am prepared to join your unit. Ah. For the wizard! Down with the rats! He avoids looking at the floor, ignoring the remains of the two guards.

[mb.]

Deet pats the doughty Schroff on the head, and looks around nervously, "the way is open, and maybe we should away? Yup yup?"

He says quietly to his faithful mutt, "this princess must surely be Friederika, and soon we'll find her, and go home, and live happily ever after. Surely. Yup. Yup." But his yups sound decidedly less optimistic than usual.

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt "Splinters we are trying to find and rescue the princess if you are with us then lets go save a princess."

[kensanata]

Splinters cheerfully says, Yes Sir! Yes. Yes. Rescuing the princes is what the army is all about. Save the Princess! For the Wizard! And outflank the rats, of course. But saving the Princess has topmost priority! You say through this door? Let's go!
He attempts to open the door, planning to let everybody go through, follows last, and close the door after one last glance at the remains of his fellow soldiers.