Chapter 2: The Sinews of War

[Pulpatoon]

Jake: The wooden sword has a springy flexibility that could leave a serious welt on someone if whipped at them properly. But the maul can crush a skull into pulp.

Horton and Hans are very familiar with the layout of the Library, after an idle week spent within its confines. The only exit are the wooden doors to the northwest—the very doors the party planned to sneak through with their cart. Although you cannot see if the guard is still posted at the door from your current vantage, the Army Bivouac behind you looks largely deserted, as the Soldiers arrange themselves for battle.

[Urson]

i suspected the sword was crap- relatively speaking.

Jake puts the sword back in its scabbard and readies the maul, flexing his arms and working his hands to warm them up.

[Pulpatoon]

i suspected the sword was crap- relatively speaking.

Oh dear, have you lost faith in the preparedness and competence of the Toy Soldiers?

[GreyWolfVT]

i suspected the sword was crap- relatively speaking.

Oh dear, have you lost faith in the preparedness and competence of the Toy Soldiers?

In deed we have sir!

Hans readies his non-regulation sword ready for battle.

Kurt readies his rifle ignoring protocol for the crappy issued sword by the toy soldiers.

[mjulius]

Brick, observing the the confusion that their Trojan Horse project has sown, suggests:
Maybe this is a good time to consider our, uh, exit? pointing surreptitiously towards the northwest doors.

[coil23]

Horton nods at this. We'll guard the flank, as it were.

[Urson]

i suspected the sword was crap- relatively speaking.

Oh dear, have you lost faith in the preparedness and competence of the Toy Soldiers?

Nope. I have just as little faith now as I did when we got 'recruited'.

[ChubbyPixie]

Brick, observing the the confusion that their Trojan Horse project has sown, suggests:
Maybe this is a good time to consider our, uh, exit? pointing surreptitiously towards the northwest doors.

"Giant rats forming" was all Wikerus had to hear to decide he wanted no part of this ridiculous battle. He nods in agreement at Brick's suggestion and takes up a spot to the rear of the front line, ready to sneak off at the signal.

[coil23]

Horton's opinion is: why wait? I think I saw movement! There! Come! He gestures to the northwest doors and then only to their own crew of misfits and no toy soldiers. The rats may be trying to flank us. Let us protect the brave front line from distraction. Horton will begin to move toward the northwest doors now.

[Urson]

Jake takes the hint and begins fading back, following Horton. He hesitates, glancing back toward his dressmaker's dummy. Dammit! he mutters, then moves off regretfully, leaving her behind.

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt & Hans pick up on Jake's queue and follow suite fading back.

[Pulpatoon]

The soldiers continue to arrange themselves for battle, lining up in perfect rows like chessmen. A Wooden Aide de Camp get down on all fours so the Officer can stand on his back. From this perch, the Officer barks instructions: "Look lively now! Swords ready! Eyes peeled! Left flank, your spacings looking uneven. Step up! Now angle in a bit. No, that's too much. About three degrees should do. Well, rot, now the right flank doesn't look right. Symmetry, Soldiers! By the belly of Saint Quenet, that's the hallmark of military discipline!"

With their backs turned to the party, the Toy Soldiers take no notice of the party as they begin to wheel their cart away.

The camp looks deserted, although as you're passing by the Sawbones' tent, the Wooden Messenger Boy bursts out of the flap, looks at you with a wild start, and runs among the tents with a rapidly diminishing clatter.

Behind you, you hear a sudden shout arise from the Soldiers, and the roar of a giant rat.

Ahead of you are the doors. They are set in an elaborately carved portal, lined with jamb-columns, crusted with carved leaves, flowers, pomegranates, pine cones, sheafs of wheat and other filigree, over-arched by a spandrel-hooded tympanum featuring an elaborate bas-relief.

The leftmost panel of the relief depicts a large medieval city with a majestic cathedral. A giant in ostentatious dress is standing atop the cathedrals tower, peeing into the street below, drowning hundreds in a terrible flood.
The middle panel shows the same giant absconding with the bells of the cathedral.
The rightmost panel shows a delegation of learned men from the city paying obeisance to the giant, who has hung the cathedral bells from his horses neck, as peasants might hang a bell on a cow.
Below the three scenes are carved letters: DE COPIOSITATE REVERENTIARUM.

The wooden doors themselves are huge, and heavy, and don't look to have been opened in centuries, if ever. There is, however, a smaller door (a mere fifteen feet tall) set in the giant door with black iron hinges and a simple latch. At this door stand two guards who eagerly hail you as you approach.

"Well met, comrades! Do you bring news from the front? Have we engaged the enemy? Do you bring fresh orders?"

[coil23]

Horton

Of course we bring orders! Otherwise we would be at the front! The rats' salient approaches our front line. We are to investigate here to ensure none are seeking a flanking attack. Also, if possible, we are to provide our own flanking probe to their forces. With any luck we can distract enough that our defensive front line can turn to become an offensive sortie and take the attack to them! So we will sneak out through this portal and you are to maintain your positions here. Your vigilance is vital to protecting the camp's back portal. Your service so far does us all proud. Horton puts on a good show of the harried soldier hell-bent on a mission that brooks no discussion or argument from underlings....

Though the librarian and historian in him takes in the grotesquely marvelous relief carvings on the doors. And thus Master Janotus de Bragmardo did petition for the bells' return, he mutters distractedly under his breath as his imagination flows with the story. Louder now and back to business, no time for discussion, soldier! Open the portal that we may all do our duty!

[Pulpatoon]

The guards stare at you with their inscrutable wood-and-paint faces for a long second before they both start speaking over one another:
"Flanking through the tower? How cou..."
"But wouldn't the Wizard..."
"And how can you outfl..."

Pausing, they look at each other indecisively. Finally, one says, "I guess you'd better go tell Maximus."

The guards unlatch and open the door.

"I hope he's in a good mood."

[coil23]

Was no one listening at all as I was just speaking?? Who do you think just told me? If you start sending off messengers pursuing folly, who will be left to guard this vital portal? Hmmm? One lone soldier against the hordes? Is that really what your training taught you? You both stay here that we may still call this a strongpoint. One of you leaves and we may as well just call it a swinging garden gate with a welcome sign. Horton, disgust evident at the soldiers' unprofessional behavior, stops talking altogether and merely gestures impatiently for the portal to be opened.

[GreyWolfVT]

Hans speaks up "Uh sir I thought we also had orders to try and maneuver to attack the enemy from the rear weren't we told to look for another route to come around and attack on a second front?" he asks more than tells Horton.

Kurt stands there while his servant does the talking and thinking he just stands there looking handsome...in his most soldier like pose.

[Pulpatoon]

The soldiers, who had unlatched and opened the door, now look at you quizzically and close it back up.

Hands on their wooden swords, the ask, "Pardon us, comrades, but who exactly gave you these orders?"

[GreyWolfVT]

Hans nudges Horton "Sorry sir I was over hearing other soldiers my word may not have entirely been true orders Horton here has the orders. Pardon my speaking with out being asked to I'll button up sir." giving his best soldier salute then standing quietly at attention.

[Pulpatoon]

BTW, are you using the cart for its intended purpose? If so, who is inside the cart, and who is pushing it?

[mjulius]

Langston and Brick, who aren't painted up like soldiers, nor have any clout among Dukes, are holed up inside the cart.

Brick whistles quietly..