Side 1, Track 1: Time Out

[Grognardsw]

Side 1, Track 1

A Day in the Life

Music Accompaniment - Rush, Working Man

Melodious “Mel” DeSalvo

"Mel, wipe down the private booths!" yelled Frankie, owner of the Two O'Clock Club in Boston's norotorous Combat Zone.

It was 4:00 pm and Melodious DeSalvo was scrambling to finish up and split before the after-work crowd of downtown businessmen filled the bar, tables and booths at the strip club. The private booths were second only to the toilets on Mel's list of least enjoyable tasks. It was a sticky job.

Mel had the night-shift off and was looking forward to his band's show at the Rat. Jimmy their manager had gotten the gig last minute after another band dropped.

"Hey Mel, what you doin tonight?" asked Maria, a waitress at the club who recently had been paying alot of attention to Mel. He'd walked her home a few times. Mel thought she might be ready to trot the black stallion.



Derek Domino

Derek was alphabetizing PSA tapes in the studio when Oedipus walked in.

"So you want me to plug the band tonight?" said Oedipus, the DJ that night at 104.1 FM WBCN.

Derek was hoping Oedipus woud ask. The hippie rocker was too laid back to request that of his boss, but the DJ and assistant station manager was tuned into Boston's music scene. He knew Derek was in TPK.

"So what are they all about?" he asked Derek.



Alice Henriette

Alice flipped through the help wanted pages of the Boston Globe, Boston Herald, Boston Phoenix and Real Paper. She didn't want to work, but the couch-and-floor hospitality of her friends was getting thin and the next bed could be a sidewalk. After a while her guy friends who put her up expected more than friendship. She was too proud to go to her parents, who could hardly help anyways.

So a job it was. Waitress, secretary, nanny? She wanted to vomit. There had to be something more interesting. What was it?

Maybe TPK would take off. Alice was looking forward to the show tonight.



James "Janx" Wilkie

James was stacking toaster ovens in the Kitchen section of Sears, his mind wandering to the show tonight at the Rat. He wondered how big the crowd would be, being a week night. Everyone in the band put the work out, and Derek thought maybe he'd ask his boss to announce it on-air. James didn't think the stoner would get up the nerve.

James wandered over to the music section when he was done stacking the toaster ovens. There was a rack of Sears Silvertone guitars. These didn't compare to his stolen Les Paul.

"Excuse me, can you recommend a guitar for my son?"

James' thoughts were interupted by an attractive 30-something year old woman. He tried to keep his eyes on her face as he answered her.



Hooter

Hooter went in to work early at the Rathskeller to make sure everything was set for his band's set that night.

TPK was opening for "interplanetary rock band" The Molls, so Hooter expected to go on about 10:30. He double checked the sound systems and glued up more band flyers on the outside wall boards.

"Hey Hootah, we gonna see you play that accahdian tonight?" asked Danny, the night manager, with his heavy Boston accent. "What the hell does TPK stand for?"

[Bluehorse]

Hooter

"Hey Hootah, we gonna see you play that accahdian tonight?" asked Danny, the night manager, with his heavy Boston accent. "What the hell does TPK stand for?"

Hooter looked over at Danny and grinned. Yeah! I'll be playing the accordion!
We are going to make the rock music like you never hee haw before! We will steal this show! Yeah? Make the dames scream for us!

TPK? Total Polka Kiddos! Very cool, yeah?
We will play big and loud! You will see! Very much rock and roll with plenty of beer and when we are done we will celebrate with smoke and a pancake!

[jemmus]

James was stacking toaster ovens in the Kitchen section of Sears, his mind wandering to the show tonight at the Rat. He wondered how big the crowd would be, being a week night. Everyone in the band put the work out, and Derek thought maybe he'd ask his boss to announce it on-air. James didn't think the stoner would get up the nerve.

James wandered over to the music section when he was done stacking the toaster ovens. There was a rack of Sears Silvertone guitars. These didn't compare to his stolen Les Paul.

"Excuse me, can you recommend a guitar for my son?"

James' thoughts were interupted by an attractive 30-something year old woman. He tried to keep his eyes on her face as he answered her.

Janx's eyes widened. Man, this was one hot mom. He tries to impress her. Charisma 80: [1d100]=77

Sure, you've come to the right place, ma'am. Silvertone guitars are great, for the money. Many great guitar players started with a Silvertone. I used to have one, but my friend got over-excited and did a Pete Townsend and smashed it. Anyway, the best thing about Silvertones is the guitar case has a built-in amp. Your son will probably be wanting a solid-body, for playing rock. He went over to the solid-bodies section. He had a scientific method for selecting electric guitars. Straight, unwarped neck. Then tone. Then looks. As opposed to when he was younger, when was Looks. Then Looks. Then Looks. Could you pick three that you think your son would like? He then examined and road-tested all three unplugged, playing "Greensleeves." Partly because it's a good guitar tone testing melody, and partly because it was a sad and poignant tune that would let him show Hot Mom his gentle, sensitive side. These two are the best, ma'am. Hot Mom smiled at him and picked the burgundy one.

Alright, here's how you work the amp. It'll start getting some nice nice distortion at around volume 6 or above. He plugs in, turns the volume to 9, and starts playing Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-Bg0jjJhgQ Startled customers' heads turn, hands go up to cover ears, a baby starts wailing. It takes Mr. Dean a full 30 seconds of deafening rock and roll to run over from the Craftsman tools department. Janx is just about to get his feeling-it guitar face on when, Wilkie! What're you nuts? Turn that hotdang thing down! Janx stops playing. OK, yes sir Mr. Dean.

As you can see, this one a nice little starter set-up, ma'am. You'll need a cable and some picks. And might as well get the young rocker a strap too. He looks over and makes sure Mr. Dean isn't looking. No charge, those are on the house. Hot Mom smiles at him again and thanks him. By the way, my band TPK is playing at the Rat tonight. If you'd like to come, bring this. He writes on a pad of paper, BACKSTAGE PASS and his legal signature, James Wilkie. Even thought the Rat probably doesn't have a backstage. What does TPK stand for? Hot Mom asks. Janx rather philosophically answers, sort of like Master Po in the Kung Fu TV show, It can mean whatever the listener imagines it means. To me, it means Total, as in "Totally radical!" Party, as in "Partying." And Kill, as in "That's killer, man!"

Persuade 25: [1d100]=25

[OGRE MAGE]

Mel holds his breath and wipes down the last booth, rushing to put away his cleaning supplies so he can split on time for once.

He looks Maria up and down, as he has done so many times before. "I got a gig, babe! At the Rat of all places! You wanna come and check us out tonight? Jimmy assured us that this will finally be the real deal. No more shopping mall gigs or bar mitzvah's for us." He jokingly adds.

[Rex]

Alice

Alice gets ready for the show, then heads over to meet the guys.

[Grognardsw]

Music Accompaniment - Rush, Finding My Way



James impressed Hot Mom in the Sears music department.



"A built-in amp? How convenient," said Hot Mom as James pointed out the features of the Sears Silvertone guitars.

"Yes, I like a solid body" She nodded with a smile.

"Oh my, you play those strings well." Watching James play Greensleaves. "I'll take it!"

She winked conspiratorially as Mr. Dean left and James gave her the guitar strap. "Oh it's hard to get away to clubs at night, being married and with kids, but thank you for the invite," Hot Mom said, taking James' piece of paper, then perhaps to show some musical 'coolness,' quickly added: "You know, I saw the Beatles during their '64 tour."

"That makes sense, what you say about TPK. You know, I first thought is was some new drug, like LSD," she laughed. "Well you certainly know your music. My name is Chrissie Hendricks. What is yours? I'm looking for a guitar teacher for my son Ben. Do you teach?"



Hooter finished checking that everything was okay at the Rat as he chatted with Danny the assistant manager.

"I see alot of bands here kid, and most of them are crap, but I've neveh seen an accahdian paht of the music. That'll be funny," said Danny. "Total Polka Kiddos?" Your manageah okayed that? Sure, I'll have some beer and pancakes after the show."



His clean-up finished at The Two O'Clock Club, Mel ogled Maria. She was a hot Italian, spicy up top and juicy below.

"Maybe I'll go, if you can get me on the guest list," she said to Mel's invitation to the Rat. "It's so exciting, maybe I'll know a big rock star someday."



Alice stopped by WBCN to meet Derek before they headed over to Janx's apartment. There the band would have dinner, drink, and Jimmy their manager would drive them over in the van to the Rat.

[jemmus]

Janx thinks, "1964! That was, like...." Does the math. "12 years ago!" Tries to figure out how to calculate Chrissie's current age. He's not good at math, gives up. Very nice to meet you, Chrissie, he says rather suavely. Cool name, like Jimi Hendrix. I'm James Wilkie, but my friends, such as yourself, he says affably and a little suggestively, call me Janx. Wow, The Beatles. I never got to see them and since they've broken up, I guess I never will. Unless they do a reunion tour. Which doesn't seem likely, considering the pop Wings crap McCartney has been putting out. That's got to be turning the other guys off. Even Ringo, and he's a cool, easy-going guy.

He's never been a guitar teacher, and he thinks he'd probably be a pretty sucky one. The only guitar teaching he ever did was to show a guy in high school the chords for "Whole Lotta Love." But it was Hot Mom Chrissie's kid. Which meant being in Chrissie's house. No, better yet, her being in his apartment. Which maybe, just maybe might someday mean...? One of Janx's creeds for life was taken from the movie Zorba the Greek, where Anthony Quinn said, "The only sin God won't forgive is to leave a woman in need." The corollary to that was his older brother's observation. "If you miss a piece of tail, it's gone forever. Even if you get it twice later, you can't make up that one you missed. It's gone forever. How true that is." Someday he'd have to work both of those saying in a song's lyrics. Maybe title it "Unforgivable Sin." Or "How True That Is."

Well, I've never really taught guitar before. But I can try to show young Ben what I know and how to do it. You can bring him by my apartment if you like. If you can, bring a chair for him to sit in while he plays. The only furniture I have is a bed, but it's a pretty good one. Smiles affably.

Chrissie's not quite as hot as I imagined. Which is a good thing, because any hotter and she'd be above Janx's pay grade.

[Bluehorse]

Hooter happily continues to make small talk about the gig tonight, though sometimes it is hard to get exactly what he is saying. As he gets more excited, his accent gets more garbled in with his words and soon, poor Danny is stuck wondering a few times if he is even still speaking English.

Once he is sure everything is as set up around the Ratt as it can be, the determined dutchman goes up on stage to start double-checking and tuning equipment, making sure everything is as perfect as it can be when they take the stage tonight. He will move a few things here and there to imitate their practice setups and try to keep everyone comfortable.

Later to Danny: Do we get the discount on the beer tonight?

[Rex]

Alice

"Hi Derek!, you ready for tonight!"

[OGRE MAGE]

Mel looks back at Maria quizzically. "What do you mean, someday?" He winks and smiles at the hot waitress.

"Tell ya what, babe. I will put you down on the list with up to three guests, so you can bring a few friends along, if ya like."

"Hey, unless you need anything before I leave, I'm gonna split. Don't want to be late, ya know."

If there is nothing more for him to do, Mel takes his leave of the stank club and makes his way to Janx's place to eat and find Jimmy.

[Grognardsw]

Janx and Chrissie exchanged phone numbers and addresses and the Hot Mom paid for the guitar. She said it may be easier to meet at her house; they'd figure it out. Janx thought about lyrics to Unforgivable Sin on the bus ride home. The guys would be coming over soon for pizza and drinking before Jimmy drove them all to The Rat.



Hooter was happy to hear that Danny will give them two drink tickets each for tonight. The Dutchman took the T down Commonwealth Ave. into Allston where Janx lived on Glenville Ave.





Mel said good bye to Maria. He walked by the bars, strip clubs and adult cinemas of the



Combat Zone to the T station at Washington St., where he took the train to Janx's place.



Janx welcomed his friends, opening the door into his basement apartment of a triple decker.



Alice and Derek were already there. The pizza had arrived, and six-packs of Schlitz and Paps Blue Ribbon were in the fridge. Alice paged through the alternative weekly The Boston Pheonix and saw an ad for The Rat.

The band talked before Jimmy was due to arrive.

Chrissie's not quite as hot as I imagined. Which is a good thing, because any hotter and she'd be above Janx's pay grade.

Folks can feel free to include pictures of people or things. I give myself 30 seconds of image search and that Hot Mom was closest.

It seems Ardak comes on the boards very infrequently , so Derek "The Whizzard" Domino will be there in the background for when the spirit moves him.

[jemmus]

Janx thinks, "Alright then, getting Chrissie to come to my pad was worth a try. Going to her house is second best. Got to play it cool, though. Don't want to get beaten with a baseball bat, burned alive, or fed to alligators in Florida or something." He pictures a few grisly and highly creative ways an enraged jealous husband might do him in. Unintentionally develops a firm mental picture of the husband Mr. Hendricks as a dumb giant ex-jock who rips people off selling used cars and watches Starsky & Hutch and listens to Kenny Rogers. And who has a Louisville Slugger baseball bat and a whole bag of golf clubs. And that's just the things that are out in the open and we know about.

Back home, after enjoying pizza and some PBRs with the band with "Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow"* cranked up, he attempts to roll the perfect smokable.

Artfully Rolling Smokables to Perfection - 20 [1d100]=50

"Hmm, not that great, maybe a little too tight. But it'll do the job," he thinks. He turns off the stereo and starts noodling and riffing on his Fender Jaguar. Man, I can't believe we're playing the Rat! This is gonna be great. I'm feeling it, you know? The groove is in me. Hooter, Scamp, Mel, get in there! An important concern about the upcoming gig occurs to him and he temporarily stops playing. Man, you guys don't let me space out and forget to take a leak before we go. No way I'm going in that nasty stinky men's room at the Rat.

* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9nfVrusSMg

[OGRE MAGE]

Mel relaxes in his usual chair, puffing on the spliff and drinking down a few beers to ease his unusual nerves from playing a real gig. He hums along to the Rainbow, a tune he knows backwards and forwards. He slaps his unplugged bass quietly along with the rhythm, finally looking up once his beer is empty. "Toss me another eh? It did make Milwaukee famous, ya know."

Once he has had enough pizza to hold him over for a day or two, the deep thinking singer addresses the others.

"Do we got a set list made up yet? Er are we gonna just wing it again? I got a few ideas if anyone wants to hear em."

Looking around the crappy apartment for their absent manager, the disturbed frontman silently wonders just how long a set they will need to play and hopes they have enough A-list material to fill their slot.

[Bluehorse]

Hooter arrived not first, not last, but certainly somewhere in the middle. Once there he was happily praddling on as he often did with his bandmates as well as anyone else that would listen or could understand him. He was going on about something to do with beer and playing a show, and at some point someone had begun drinking out of a tuba. Apparently, the story was very funny because he was laughing so hard he started crying while trying to finish the tale. As he wiped his eyes he waved it off. But I has the two beer tickets for each of us at der ratte. And no tuba! he cracks up a little again.

When he sees Janx rolling up "cigarettes" he points. Oh! You are the cowboy, yeah? Like the Clint Eastvood? Very manly macho! I preferred these myself... he took out of the front pocket of his shirt a greenish tinted cigar about as thick as his middle finger and a bit longer. He hands the heavy blunt looking cigar over to the hippie with a big smile.

Looking to Mel he nods. Yes, yes! Let's go in with a plan and then see where it takes us.

[Rex]

Alice

"We have to have set list of some sort. I play better drunk and once drunk can't remember what song comes next." She giggles, pounding another beer.

[Grognardsw]

Musical Accompaniment - Rush, Lakeside Park



Soon the sweet smell of happiness swirled around the apartment from Janx's adequately rolled grass.

Derek toked deep. "Not bad yeah not bad." Of all in the band, the Whizzard knew most about drugs, favoring psychoactives. "Man, you should have let me roll these. And so yeah, I told Oedipus 'you gotta give us a plug tonight' and he said, "man, I can do that. You have a 7" single out yet?' and I said 'we're working on it.'"

Talk turned to the set list as Jimmy arrived.



"Hey boys!" Jimmy considered Alice one of the boys, which she respected. "How's it going? Ready for tonight?" He grabbed a last piece of pizza and a Schlitz. "Any more weed? What are you thinking about for the set list? I got the van fixed with a new alternator."

WBCN played in the background and the DJ broke in. "Fourth caller gets two free tickets to tonight's show at the Rat with TPK and The Molls."

I like the guitar castle image on the Rainbow cover.

I decided to NPC Derek "The Whizzard" Domino. If Ardak shows, he can step right in.

[Rex]

Alice

"Definitely need some Rainbow and maybe some Sabbath too."

[jemmus]

Derek, good you showed up, man. I thought we were gonna have to have Hooter play your part. Janx makes painstaking preparations for the big gig by rolling three, no four, no, better make it five more doobies. He sits on the floor for extra stability, and also because the apartment doesn't have any furniture but a bed. Clears is mind of any of what Buddhists call "monkey mind," stares at the Rizlas and buds with intense focus. It's kind of like the scene at the end of "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" with Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and the other guy whose name he can't recall right now. No matter. He starts to roll, his mind 100% absorbed in the task at hand. The tip of his tongue sticks out of the side of his lips a little.

Artfully Rolling Smokables to Perfection - 20
[1d100]=36
[1d100]=58
[1d100]=81
Mentally, "Focus Janx, focus!" Long exhale.
[1d100]=78
"This is it. Last chance, do or die." He squints his eyes and his tongue sticks out a little, bravely trying to do its part.
[1d100]=28
"Ah, man. OK, one more try. It's not like the doob will ever go to waste."
[1d100]=19
"Nailed it! It was a hard fight and it looked iffy for a while, but that is One Perfect Joint. That's a good sign for the band and the gig." He contemplates philosophical or metaphysical or mystical implications. "Man, you were trying to hard. Too uptight. That's no good for doob-rolling, music-playing, or chicks-meeting. How true that is."
Just want to confirm to everybody that those were the true rolls. Things weren't looking good for Janx.

TPK man, I present to you the perfect doob! The... err, Da Vinci... Vincent Van Gogh or David Gilmour of a doob! The TPK guys didn't know what Janx was going on about. Mel, man, I know you and Jimmy are the brains of the band and have to carry the show. Bullshit on that, brother. We just play at the Rat, and the Rat's costumers come down and check us out. Even is nobody's into us and listening to us, it's like free studio space! No neighbors, no cops showing up telling you it's over and turn it down. Am I right, Jimmy?

[OGRE MAGE]

Mel snaps out of his Ritchie Blackmore funk when he hears his name.

"Listen bro, we've been through this before. The set list is important. The order of songs matters."

"I need to do the easier to sing tunes first, to get the ol' pipes warmed up, before we hit the thrillers. Dig? Don't you guys remember anything I tell ya?"

He looks over the final well rolled J with approval. "That one aint no New Yorker, my man! You can pick yer teeth with a New York Joint!"

"Hey Jimmy! We nail this one and we get a few more of these real gigs, right? I sure hope so, man! I need something new in my life, and I can feel a change coming on the winds, if ya feel me."

[Bluehorse]

Hooter was getting excited and could barely sit still. Yeah! We can totally turn them up to 10 and make their heads explode! Should we try that new song we have been working on? A good test run in front of a real crowd, yeah? See what they think of something new? Give them that Total Polka Kiddos sound? Dah! da-dat-dah! da-dat-dah! da-dat-dah! da-dat-dah! Duh! Dah! da-dat-dah! da-dat-dah! da-dat-dah! he started miming playing the melody of his accordion while singing it out. Unt the drum solo from Alice will get their hearts pounding! We should do it! A big finally! Leave them feeling a Hootzpha! he wiggles his eyebrows while grinning like a hyper middle school boy rather than the 30 something fat man that sat before them ready to jump out of his own skin. The real kicker? He wasn't even on something. This was just him.