Expedition: Halfpint/Into The Woods - 05 Sep 2021

[Starbeard]

PS: Achaedany, for those who haven't adventured with her before. All the competence and none of the charisma money can hire.

[Zhym]

Lug shrugs and laughs again. "Sucks to be you, then."

"Anyway, that jerk Amistad still owes me for running off with the only loot from the kobold tower a couple of months ago—even if it was just some crummy winches. I ain't giving him squat."

"Come on, everyone. We came here to go to the forest. No time like now for it."

[Jernau35]

"So defending my personal property from your pseudo-legal extortion makes me the aggressor?" snorts Piers. " Well, if your....associates...are doing such a great job, you wouldn't need to be so desperate for other people's food would you? "

"I'm not here as your delivery boy, and I didn't come out here to set up a soup kitchen for a gang of ogres."

"So, unfortunately, I'm must decline the charming hospitality of this..." Piers looks around briefly, "...town". He takes Norp's halter and leads him back toward the gate, gesturing for Guaire and Sylvi to follow him.

[onlyme]

Halfpint looks a bit stunned at what she has been given by the duke.

She looks to quickly make peace.
"I certainly appreciate your dedication to safety and have no qualms over your healthy skepticism. How much toll do we owe for the safe passage here, and I will pay. Please let Mr Armistad know I am here, if you may.


She whispers to her fellow travelers,
Please dont start a fight we have no need to fight. I would prefer to save our sweat and bruises for the adventures beyond.

[Zhym]

"Who's looking to fight?" asks Lug. "I just don't see why we oughtta pay to into this crappy little outhouse of a town. Why do you wanna go in, anyway? I thought we were here for the forest."

"I know the cheating jerk who runs this place. Went with him and this one"—Lug jerks his head towards Archedany—"out to the kobold tower. Thought we were going equal shares; turned out he thought we was his hired help. Soon as he grabbed some stuff to help build this place, he was ready to split with the only loot we'd found. And did, too—after Rhybek got stoned by that bird, jerkface said that Rhybek's stuff was our share! Jerk.

"No one pays for me to go in there. Piers and me, we killed Scatha. You know what he coulda done to this little wooden village? Burned it to the ground, that's what. Way I see it, they should be throwing us a damn parade instead of trying to shake us down for coppers and silvers. So I say, 'screw 'em.' The slayers of Scatha ain't afriad of anything in the forest—or a few ogres."

[Jernau35]

"Nor am I", adds Piers. "I was threatened, and when I objected, threatened again. Now I wish to leave".

"She just admitted the only way they have to control their hungry ogres is through bribery. And they have nothing to bribe them with", he points out.

"Now, do you think the ogres are going to walk miles in the rain to steal a sheep? Or 30 yards over to the stable block to eat my mule? I think even ogres can work that problem out very quickly."

"And afterwards no doubt I'll be told 'Oh well, ogres. What do you expect'? "

[Zhym]

"And what makes you think they'll stop trying to extort us when we get inside?" Lug adds, on a roll. Or a rant. "I mean, we pay 'em now, and when we get inside they'll probably say there's a letting-you-in-the-gate charge they forgot to tell us about. Then when we're halfway down the one street in this one-street burg, someone will come out of the woodwork to demand a walking-down-the-street fee. Oh, and we forgot to pay our breathing fee. Then there's the special not-eating-your-animals fee.

"Amistad's a crook. Always has been. Ruling over a stack of sticks don't change that."

[Alethan]

Lord Earc sighs.

"Amistad isn't the easiest to get along with, I can vouch for that. Let's also keep in mind that frontier towns don't... don't always fit what we normally think of as a civilized town. Life is... different... this far removed from normal trade routes."

"The fact remains that the town of Amistad protects the roads from here to Frogmorton and are the reason why we traveled thus far unmolested. The town has the right to charge taxes to pay for these services. We shouldn't so quickly be offended by those with less social tact that us, Sir Piers." He eyes the additional ogres who appeared and wonders just how many more are sitting in other nearby huts. "It may not be worth the trouble it could cause... And we cannot hold a whole town responsible for the actions of one. Lug, if you still have a beef with Amistad about a contract he made with you, I'd take it up with the wooden tower in Gaul. Amistad is still a subject of Arch Duke Gaul and must follow legal adventuring contracts just like anyone else."

"I began my adventures in Gaul with Amistad. And Achaedany, actually, come to think of it." He nods slightly at Achaedany. "Still as warm as ever, Achaedany! Do you still have your souvenir Morlock blowpipe?" Before she can answer, he continues, "I would say a quick hi to my old friend, so I will enter. Anyone who chooses not to enter can stay outside, if that suits them... or return to Gaul, for that matter. I, for one, will sleep in a bed before spending a few weeks in the forest on a bed of leaves and dirt and pillows of stone. We can all meet up with anyone who wants to continue tomorrow when we make our way forward."

"Here. This should cover the taxes on our provisions, even if all of us end up entering, my large friend," he says, handing 5gp over to the ogre who first spoke to them. "And here is another 5 gold for you and your friends. Send an emissary down to Frogmorton Ford if you would rather eat mutton than gold. That should set you up for a few days, yes?"

"Does this suit everyone?"

OOC: Deducted 10gp from inventory.

[Jernau35]

"Very generous of you, My Lord" Piers replies. "However, it's a long walk to Frogmorton Ford and your promised mutton. My mule is here in front of them right now. Gold from you, or a worthless IOU from these people is not going to replace him."

"As for sleeping in the forest, it's what we came to do. And if someone tries to steal from us out there, we can defend ourselves without having to worry about being locked up for having the temerity to do so."

[Zhym]

"I won't let no one else pay for me," protests Lug. "We don't pay or I don't go in. Folks wanna charge for walking with us down the road? They can tell us before we walk. After we're done? Nuh-uh. There wasn't a deal, so it ain't fair. They wanna ask nicely, maybe we can donate. But I won't hand over nothing at knife-point.

"And I ain't had a chance to use this fancy new sword and armor yet. I won't go picking fights, but a tussle or two on the way here coulda been fun. Them ogres didn't do me any favors."

[Alethan]

Earc shrugs, "Everything an ogre says should be considered a threat; that's just the nature of ogres! Ogres love gold as much as they love mutton, Sir Piers, and they're not going to risk a good gig over an old mule." He walks his horse inside the palisades and calls back, "I guess we'll see you in the morning then, Piers and Lug?"

Earc continues on to The Ogre's Two Heads, where they'll find room and safe board for their animals. As he does so, he chats with the Frogmorton youths about different cultures they'll be interacting with in the North Marches and their varied approaches to life and it all sounds very preachy mostly, so nobody else is listening.

[Starbeard]

Busy week, just posting to say that I'll be posting a couple of major OOC content updates regarding the town tomorrow alongside advancing this expedition thread, so look for those in the town subforum.

[Karaunios]

Anforthas looks at the whole exchange with what could be described as awe. Who are you people who can go around arguing with OGRES? Then he turns to Lord Earc Milord, I thank you for what you have done. I wouldn't have entered the town not because I don't appreciate the work this... gentle people have done protecting the roads He nods at Achaedany in recognition But because my resources are meagre enough as to not allow me paying this toll.

He looks at Piers and Lug I'd suggest you come in with us. Better to have peace among us. We're here to help after all. Besides, we would be declining the good gesture Lord Earc just did.

[Zhym]

"Who are ogres to go around arguing with Lug and Piers, Dragonslayers?" says Lug with a wink. "I mean, look at us! We're wearing the skin of a big damn red dragon! We're badass! I could take out three of those guys and not even work up a sweat! I mean, not that I'd pick a fight. But if I was them, I'd sure as heck think hard before attacking me—or trying to shake me down for coppers."

Fun OOC facts: Lug is a Ranger of Beith. He gets +1 damage per level against goblinoids including, yes, ogres. He's fairly high level. He just bought a +3 two-handed sword. He's pretty strong. The lowest damage he could do against an ogre starts in the double digits. And he gets two attacks per round. One on one, Lug would absolutely destroy an ogre, I'm pretty sure.

[Alethan]

Fun OOC facts: Lug is a Ranger of Beith. He gets +1 damage per level against goblinoids including, yes, ogres. He's fairly high level. He just bought a +3 two-handed sword. He's pretty strong. The lowest damage he could do against an ogre starts in the double digits. And he gets two attacks per round. One on one, Lug would absolutely destroy an ogre, I'm pretty sure.

OOC: What about four? Or six? And don't forget our fickle friend, the USS Dice Roller... She cares not what sword you have.

But sounds like Lug is a good addition to the party...

[Zhym]

I'm not saying that Lug wants to take them all at once. Well, okay. Maybe he wants to. But he won't. But he does expect them to show him a bit more respect, if not fear.

[Jernau35]

"A month ago i saw him disembowel a dragon the size of a large building," says Piers, nodding towards Lug. "They'd be scraping bits of ogre off the walls for weeks".

[Zhym]

"Started eating it raw when I was done," Lug adds with a big insane grin and crazy googly eyes, "until they made me stop."

[Karaunios]

Anforthas can't hide a surprised expression in his otherwise normally serene countenance. Well, in that case, I'd say you've done MORE for these roads than all these ogres together. Killing a dragon is no little thing...

[Alethan]

Earc approaches the Two Headed Ogre and sees a familiar face.

"Aagrok, isn't it? Do you remember when we met?" Earc asks in Chaotic as he raises a hand in the traditional ogre salutation.

Here: https://www.unseenservant.us/forum/view ... 10#p290410

"It is good to see you and your friends are making your way here in Amistad! Are there still 10 of you, then?" He holds up both hands, all ten fingers spread wide.