Chapter 1: To seek a Great Perhaps

[GreyWolfVT]

Hans perks up at the last part of the doors mutterings "Might we enter then? Apparently all we have to do is push the door open."

William calms his master Kurt down "Yes lets just give it a push as the saying goes."

Kurt calms down thanks to William "Push the door I can handle that." he walks over to the door and looks for a spot to push that is not part of the giant face.

[Wizard Lizard]

"Well then, thank you, dear door, we will be on our way, then." Says Vanis before joining his strange companions into the unknown, ready to "give it a little push". He'll then do the gentlemanly thing and let his allies go first, as caution etiquette advises.

[Grognardsw]

Gwar!, demented brawler, and Butchness of Wrath, woman

It extends for miles in every direction, its facade carved with women, their skirts asunder and their hands outstretched in a beckoning gesture.

"I would climb into the cave betwixt their legs," declares Gwar! as he trudges along the cloudscape towards the castle. "The builder of this place had fine taste!"

Adjusting his horned helmet, the big man looks for any cracks in the foundation or pipes through which they could enter.

Later, before the befuddling talking door...

"By my spiked teats, what devilry is this!" exclaims the Butchness of Wrath. "Open up I say!"

Upon the novel advice to push the door open, Gwar! steps forward and shoves it open. "We have arrived!"

He draws a humongous sword from his back sheath, the blade stretching longer than many in the group are tall.

Sorry, weekend then work kept me off boards.
Yes Gwar! is a little jolting among the party type, but that seems perfectly odd to me.

[mjulius]

Langston, lightly kicking the door, raises his brow as Gwar! pushes through. He watches the party enter, shrugs, and steps through the threshold. Brick arches his back hindward as he walks, straining himself for one last look at the the carvings as he steps inside.

[mb.]

Odric begins to follow, but Deet remains standing, squinting up at the huge face.

"Um, Mister Door Face, sir? Schroff says it's time to go, but if you know sir, could you tell me... you seem very smart, and you said you've seen so many people open your doors. Did you see Friederika, our sister, go in? She's no soldier, bandit or sedish... um, cannibal, just a girl with beautiful honey hair and a mole on her cheek right here."

Deet pokes his cheek, then scratches his chin, "and Mister Door Face sir?" he nods at the doors, "Um, what's inside?"

Schroff jogs impatiently back and forth between the doors and his master, tugging at his hose with his teeth.

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt, Will & Hans stand aside for the oddly dressed man calling himself Gwar and his lady to push through. Questioningly one eyebrow raised on the three of them at the oddly dressed duo of Gwar and Butchness of Wrath.

[coil23]

Horton Portencium stands to the side, observing the antics. Brief embarrassment at having no idea of the literary references bandied about but this soon slides back into the comfortable embrace of resignation. Failure, if nothing else, is a faithful companion. The door is magnificent, wondrous in its animation if daft in the performance. So much to learn here and perhaps bring back to enrich the library.

He is about to walk through but stops when he sees Deet is still conversing with the enormous face. More to learn here. He stands still and listens. When the conversation seems done he will stand before the face and bow deeply, we thank you for your guidance.

[Pulpatoon]

Upon the advisement of the giant face, the party gamely pushes on the doors. They are reluctant to budge at first, but as more backs are added to the effort, they slowly and surely begin to swing open.

A cold draft washes over you from the interior. Carried on the wind is a sparkling, glittering dust, like flakes of mica. The draft stirs the cloudy plain, which swirls up in a curling plume of shifting air-mass.

Deet pauses to speak to the Door-Face

"Um, Mister Door Face, sir? Schroff says it's time to go, but if you know sir, could you tell me... you seem very smart, and you said you've seen so many people open your doors. Did you see Friederika, our sister, go in? She's no soldier, bandit or sedish... um, cannibal, just a girl with beautiful honey hair and a mole on her cheek right here."

Deet pokes his cheek, then scratches his chin, "and Mister Door Face sir?" he nods at the doors, "Um, what's inside?"

The great face was split in half by the opening of the doors. The two halves both respond in equally booming voices to Deet's question, but they are saying two different things, and the voices drown each other out. An occasional word slips through:
"...limped..." "...Jupiter's bird..." "...Guzzling..." "...HERITAGE..." "Watercress..." "...eggs..." "...rotten stuff..."

After this cacophonous outburst, the cleaved face settles back into its inaudible mumbling, its eyes closed in apparent sleep. It does not respond to additional conversation.
_________________________________________________________

Before you looms a chill, stone hall.

The Crooked Theodolite's Measure: 180' wide, 480' long, 120' tall.

The floor is made of flagstones the size of barges. The ceilings are arched far above and whiskered by threads of cloud that have rushed in through the open doors. The walls are stone and bare except for giant statues carved into them of kings in layered robes, plaited beards, and too many eyes. Everywhere, the glittering dust swirls and shifts, obscuring and revealing the features of the room in accordance with its own currents and whim.

Shaggy Beaker rings his bell once, twice would be nice but thinks better if it.

As the peel of the bell echoes in the dark vastness, it is almost immediately greeted by a shifting somewhere in the dust-choked hall. You hear a series of soft thuds. A form begins to emerge through a glittering dust curtain.

First a paw emerges, fully two feet and a half across, and equipped with formidable talons. Then another another paw, and after that a great black-furred arm to which both of the paws are attached by short forearms. Two pink eyes shine, and the head of the awakened sentry, large as a barrel, wabbles into view. The eyes jut two inches from each side, shaded by bony protuberances overgrown with coarse hairs. But the head is chiefly terrible because of the mouth. That mouth had great yellow fangs and ran from the top to the bottom of the head, opening vertically instead of horizontally.



The creature is about 40' away, and is moving at a deliberate, perhaps wary, pace. It stands 12' tall.

ACTIONS?!

[mb.]

Deet nods as if Door Face had something of great import, and mumbling, "Jupiter's bird, guzzling, heritage, watercress, eggs..." he follows the others through the door...

...whereupon he sees the monstrosity approaching. His eyes fly wide and his jaw drops in a howl of "HORROR!" whereupon he fires his musket, far too close to, and from behind his companions with a flash, a deafening KERFWUMP and a cloud of smoke.

Deet fires his musket... Flash! Bang! Smoke! [1d8] = 7

Schroff charges the creature, circling it in a wide, barking circle. Odric rolls his eyes, hefts his sword to his shoulder and waits...

[Wizard Lizard]

Vanis stares angrily at the bell-ringer that surely spelled their doom, then, taking his trusty hatchet firmly in hand, starts looking frantically for some small passage inside the room, perhaps on the east wall, that would allow him and his friends an escape, should the monster be too tough to take down. He also yells "Petit Four! Attack this wretched beast, feed on its eyes!"

Petit Four is his Hawk, which was circling the place before hand, which explains why it had never been mentioned before, absolutely no other reasons would explain his prior absence in the scene.

So should I make a WIL save to send my Hawk, or should it do damage directly?

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt fumbles with his rifle upon entering the hall and seeing the strange monster. Once the rifle is loaded he takes a careful steady aim and fires at the monstrous creature. Rifle [1d8] = 4

Will stands at the side of Kurt helping load the rifle. After done aiding Kurt he takes his sword out ready to fend off the creature should it close in.

Hans takes up his sword ready to defend Kurt should the need arise.

[Pulpatoon]

So should I make a WIL save to send my Hawk, or should it do damage directly?

It can do its damage. Assuming that it is trained to hunt large animals, we can assume it knows what to do. If it gets injured, or faced with something totally outside its experience, WIL save may be required to keep it on task.

[Grognardsw]

Gwar!, reaver, and Butchness of Wrath, she-devil

"The beast is uglier than I!" growls Gwar!

"A walking slit - fuck it with your sword mighty Gwar!" yells the Butchness of Wrath.

Gwar! begins to race towards the monster, but holds when he sees thunder sticks raised. After the volley of bullets, he charges the creature driving his sword toward the mouth like a lance.

Not sure which die to roll...
Big sword? [1d6] = 5, [1d8] = 2, [1d10] = 7

[mjulius]

Langston’s eyes widen at the beast as it closes. Assuming a posture that he hopes elicits confidence, he readies his axe - terrified but prepared.
These are my tests. These are my tests. These are my tests.

Brick whistles suggestively as he draws his sword.
That is the ugliest pu..KERFWUMP..I have ever seen!
His bowler sails into the dim room, pushed forward by the musket wind.

[Wizard Lizard]

Petit Four makes a hawk-ish sound as he plunges toward the eyes of the beast in an attempt to puncture one of them before going back up, using the great ceiling as an advantage.

Bry-yark ! [1d8] = 1

I just figured it should have been a d6 since that's the base damage. Did only 1 so no biggie I hope. I'll remember that for next time.

[Pulpatoon]

Re: Petit-Four. From the book:
Birds: From parrots and ravens (10s, str d6, d4 claws.) to kestrels and hawks (50s, d6 claws)
I'm assuming HP 1.
I'll take the liberty of rolling Petit's STR, as I suspect we will need this information before this post is over: Petit-Four STR [1d6] = 4

The monster howls and yowls and swats at its rough skin as Deet's musket and Kurt's rifle pepper its hide. It looks annoyed and enraged, but otherwise firm on its feet. It prepares to close the distance between it and the party when Petit-Four flies into its face, clawing its eyes. The hawk's talons can find no purchase on the bony mass, however.

Monster-paw: [1d6] = 3
Petit-Four STR save: [1d20] = 16

A great paw swats the hawk down with a brittle crunch. The arc of the blow carries the bird into the fanged mouth, which closes tight upon feathers and blood.

RIP Petite-Four. You had an adorable name.

The monster seems briefly distracted by its snack, and has halted its progress.

Next round, Schroff the mutt and GWAR! the marauder will reach the monster, and can engage in melee attacks.

GWAR!:

Not sure which die to roll...
Big sword? [1d6] = 5, [1d8] = 2, [1d10] = 7

Did you see this post?

ACTIONS!

[Stirling]

'Shaggy' Beaker

"By the gods, a creature of legend. Come Mouse, let us flee into the glittery smoke and cloud."

Muffling his bell sound underneath the greasy interior of his hat, Beaker, with Mouse in tow, will edge around the right hand of the room. He has no weapons though surely if grasped by the fiend he would do well to clang it one with his bell end, the only other use equipment ihe carries is a roll of barbed steel wire.

How far can he see through the swirling cloud, any furniture to hide under, statues to shield behind.

[coil23]

Poor hawk, Horton murmurs in genuine sorrow. Will we even survive the foyer? Oh, to be back in my library. Horton uses his beloved spyglass to see if he can spot any hiding places or avenues of escape. He casts a jaundiced eye on the bell-ringer who he now dubs a magnet of doom. Whichever way he runs, I won't, he silently vows.

[mb.]

Schroff bravely darts in to bite the thing's ankle!
Schroff bites! [1d6] = 6 Grrrrr!

Odric, also a bit wide-eyed now, elbows Deet and together they begin to circle wide around to the left, attempting to get behind the monstrosity. Deet mutters as they go, "hawks are medium-sized diurnal birds of prey, keen-eyed and efficient hunters..." trying to reload his musket all the while...

[Wizard Lizard]

Vanis lets out a short cry of surprise and terror as his companion gets crunched by the monster. "Quickly friends, let us push forward while it is distracted!" saying that, he tries to rush past the monster, from the right side of the room, pocketing his Phase Key in case he has to flee to the other side of the wall.