Chapter 1: To seek a Great Perhaps

[mjulius]

Langston follows Vanis into the archway, toward the scream. He wields his axe across his chest with both hands, making large clomping strides.

Brick, who had been busy with his cuticles and sword, follows languidly behind, shaking his head.

[mb.]

Deet scratches his head, exchanges a glance with Schroff, and they trot off after Langston and the others. Odric says, "eh...", waves his sword uncertainly back and forth between the two archways, shrugs, and follows his brother.

[Pulpatoon]

Those who enter the open archway find themselves in the dark. The light from the open door reveals marble columns arranged in square galleries, extending from the walls.

The party has lanterns, and I'm assuming someone lights one or two. Please let me know who holds a lamp. This is one hand full, meaning that person cannot use a shield or two-handed weapon.

Additional light reveals that there are chairs under the galleries. The chairs are curiously similar to the galleries, with miniature marble columns for legs—suddenly your perspective shifts and you realize that the galleries are chairs—enormous chairs. You are in a vast audience chamber, with rows upon rows of seats for great and small.

Even in the dark, the Crooked Theodolite gives an accurate measure of the room: 80'x240'.

Between the giant chairs there are statues, each between 20 and 40' tall. The depict grotesques—at once more eccentric and less grand that the kings in the front hall.

One of these statues has been toppled over, and lies in several pieces.

Hanging against the walls are massive velvet curtains, reaching 90' up to the ceiling, choked with dust. It occurs that the weight of this curtain, if it fell, would pulverize anyone caught beneath it.

The pained wail continues, up ahead, constant and rising, from somewhere ahead in the darkness.

Agitated starlings flit through the lantern light.

[Grognardsw]

"I've heard that if you make love to nine different people in the castle you will get a boon from the ancient gods."

"Really?" Butchness of Wrath counts how many men are in the party.

Gwar! whirls around at the noise beyond the north archway. He draws his heavy blade.

"Come," he grunts and moves through the door cautiously.

"Chairs! Imagine the asses of those who sat there! Spread out!" Gwar! moves behind a column for cover and protection, and advances column by column deeper into the chamber.

Butchness of Wrath is the next column line over, moving in tandem with Gwar!

[mjulius]

Brick calmly strikes a match whatever tool is genre appropriate promethean across his trousered leg and lights a lantern. His sword at the ready.
Langston stalls at the light's edge. His head on a pivot, axe in hands. He moves forward, cautiously towards the cries as Brick follows.

[Stirling]

Shaggy Beaker will help open a door if necessary. "Starlings swarm in huge flights you know, 'where there is one a hundred follow'," he says quoting some proverb to anyone who listens.

He sees the 'Butchness' looking at him sideways and hurries along not sure if the licking of her lips is a good sign.

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt follows the others rifle loaded and ready.

Will follows Kurt with lantern in hand.

Hans grumbles low enough that nobody can hear him and follows along sword in hand.

[Wizard Lizard]

The pained wail continues, up ahead, constant and rising, from somewhere ahead in the darkness.

Staying away from the huge curtains, Vanis walks toward the sound with caution, not straying too far from Brick. He asks to the darkness : "Hello? Are you a talking thing or a claws and teeth thing? Do you require assistance?"

[coil23]

Herr Portencium wonders if the starlings will end being the lucky ones. He follows silently holding his cane as if it would be more of a defense than reality would suggest. The man peers around, especially upward to try and catch a glimpse of more birds or what might have startled them.

He gestures an offer to carry a lamp for anyone who would rather have hands free for something else.

His eyes widen in surprise at Vanis's question spoken aloud. What innocence walks among us? This is the type of unthinking naivete that can fell armies...their own armies- not the opponents'. Horton casually steps to be further away from Vanis.

[mb.]

The map expands...

Let me know, Pulp, if this doesn't represent what you had in mind....

Schroff runs a tight circle around Deet as they pass through the archway. Deet nods, Schroff whines and sits on his haunches, Deet frowns and nods again, Schroff yips, shakes himself all over then shoots off down the middle of the room. What does the brave pup see, hear and smell?

Odric takes a moment to light a lantern, and sword in his other hand, moves into the hall, staying near Gwar. Deet follows along, musket ready, bayonet affixed, with a daydreaming look on his face.

[Pulpatoon]

Brick, Will, and Horton equip themselves with lamps, providing ample light for the party.

Scroff sniffs around and finds more of the scents he discovered earlier: feces, eggs, dust... and something mammalian.

Further down the hall, you find another statue tumbled down. Where the stone fell, it dislodged centuries of dust, and scattered the broken remains of birds nests that had been established on its head and shoulders.

You come closer to the continuing wail, and hear scurrying sounds underneath it. Finally, your lamps uncover the scene:

A third statue has tumbled down. It has pinned a horrible baby.

Horrible Baby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The baby is easily five times the size of the largest human child you have ever seen, spherically fat and covered in thick, matted hair, diminutive tusks protruding from the red and black gums in its open, screaming mouth. It wears a sopping, filthy diaper, and its legs are plastered with filth. It smells abominably.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ignoring the pinned baby are four other babies, equally horrible and shit-caked, gathered around the fallen head of the statue. The look guiltily up at you for a second, then turn dismissive, returning to the work at hand: shoveling smashed starling eggs into their mouths.

AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Just beyond this scene, at the edge of the lamplight, you see movement. Six more babies are pulling at the hanging curtain, straining to topple yet another statue. The are hectored by the starlings, and keep losing their grip on the curtain to swat the birds away. Nevertheless, they are making progress, and the statue is beginning to sway.

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRH!

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt "Ah it's like my worst nightmare an army of giant babies." rubbing his eyes and backing away you can tell he truly doesn't like babies.

Hans "Lets leave before their nanny arrives. If the babies are this big there is no telling how large the parents or nanny might be." for once helping usher Kurt away from the horrible scene of giant babies Hans returns his sword to the sheath and backs Kurt away to a quieter location.

Will sighs "Well we could at least try and sooth the crying baby." but knowing he has lost the conversation with Kurt and Hans he follows them lantern in hand.

[Grognardsw]

Gwar!, mercanary, and Butchness of Wrath, sister of pain

"Children..." Gwar looks diappointed, could one see through his cumbersome helmet. He feels reluctant to hack away at babies.

"Aye, let us seek other areas to explore."

Butchness of Wrath is quiet, wondering what life would be like if she settled down and bred.

The two move back south, still using the columns for cover, and return to the left slab. "Let us move this."

[Wizard Lizard]

Vanis looks at the scene, shaking. "Let's leave. Slowly. We can all agree that there's nothing we can do for these...babies. Plus, they're probably able to take care of themselves, I mean, what harm can befall such huge children? Right?". He doesn't sound too convinced, but is obviously unwilling to get closer and risk getting hit head bit off by one of the monstrosities. He also decides on the spot that if he is to ever get out of this place, he won't have kids. Maybe a cat or two, at best.

Whatever is behind the stone slab, at least it's not giant babies.

[Urson]

Wow- get tied up with Real Life for a couple of days and all hell breaks loose.

Jake went with the group to investigate the noise, maul held at a 'port arms' position. He shakes his head in amazement at the ogre babies, and retreats with the others, looking back often to protect the rear.
Poor lil monsters. They've been neglected for weeks- look how filthy they are. I wouldn't want to run across their Nanny... but I hope she comes back soon. I mean, I ain't stupid enough to think we should adopt them or something, but it's still kinda sad.

[Pulpatoon]

The party retreats before the dirty-nappied terror of the horrible babies, having renewed their commitment to a prophylactic lifestyle. As you return to the putti rotunda, you hear and feel another resounding thud as a fourth statue topples. There is a brief screech, quickly cut off.

GWAR! positions himself in front of the left slab, and waits for Shaggy or Jake to help move it. Behind the slab, sounds are clearly heard: many feet in hurried movement; a squeaking, like heavy wood being pushed around a marble floor; and a second squeaking—louder and more animal.

[mjulius]

Brick scabbards his sword and laughs, smacking his leg with an open hand. Turning to follow the others to the left slab, he continues to giggle softly.

Langston stands in the creeping darkness of the diminishing lamplight, a little dumbfounded. His legs wide and ready for battle and his axe in both hands. A moment later he lets his weapon loose and walks back, the axe head dragging across the tiled ground.

[GreyWolfVT]

Kurt "Might be a better idea if we stop messing with slabs? What say you all we go see what rumors we've heard hold truth?" he glances Butchness's way shrugs thinking something to himself.

[Grognardsw]

Gwar!, bruiser, and Butchness of Wrath, codependent

"Get ready the guns and bows! Things are within!" says Gwar!, heaving the slab with the others.

"Angle it to drop into the room if we can! Crush some beasties!"

Butchness of Wrath stands to the left side of the doorway, ready to surprise and swing her spiked mace at any monster exiting.

[mb.]

Deet follows everyone back into the putti rotunda, head hanging and wringing his hands around his musket, "that poor baby... shouldn't we... help it?" Schroff whines softly. Odric pats Deet on the back, and rolls his eyes behind it.

Seeing everyone gathering around the slab, they all wander over and make themselves ready for... something.

I'm moving into a new flat today, so might be a bit slow here for a day or two.